Navigating Navidad as a Single Latina
Do you want to hear a funny story? I was once broken up with on Christmas Eve. Through a 3-minute phone call. After a 4-year relationship. Yes, I’m serious. Merry Christmas to me, I guess?
I don’t particularly enjoy talking about singleness but once in a while, when prompted by God and after a little Holy Spirit arm-twisting, I share my journey. This is one of those times. Now, this isn’t 10 tips on how to thrive in every phase of singleness because, honestly, I have no idea how to do that. Being a single Christian Latina in your thirties is not for the faint of corazón. All that to say, I’m praying for you. Pray for me, too.
What I do know is that God sees, God hears and God cares. I find great peace in that truth. It’s also true that our lives don’t look the way we thought they would by now. A quick scroll through Instagram will remind us of that. An amiga decorating cookies with her kids, dressing up for a holiday date with her husband, sharing her family Christmas photo, or, better yet, an engagement announcement.
We rejoice and celebrate with them, all while we sit with the no-longers and not-yets of our own story. Both and, always, both and.
The prophet Habakkuk describes what it looks like to live in that tension for those who trust in God,
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
Habakkuk 3:17
In her book, The Greatest Gift, Ann Voskamp writes of Habakkuk 3,
“In the bareness of winter, Habakkuk offers this gift to always carry close: rejoicing in the Lord happens while we still struggle in the now. Struggling and rejoicing are not two chronological steps, one following the other, but two concurrent movements, one fluid with the other.”
In the even-thoughs and not-yets, we rejoice in our God. But how? Here are 3 ways I have sensed God invite me to navigate Navidad with that posture:
1.Resist isolation. Isolation is a repetitive yet dangerous tactic of Satan. There is a difference between isolation and solitude. Solitude is what Jesus practiced to meet with God. Isolation is what we practice when we get away to meet with our shame. We must resist the latter. Get around your people, hang out with life-giving friends, borrow your nieces and nephews for a baking day. Whatever you do, resist isolation. You may be single, but you are not alone.
2. Recognize the gifts. I’m convinced that whatever has our attention will eventually have our affection. In other words, it’s only a matter of time before what has our eyes has our hearts, too. This Christmas, let’s be intentional about what we pay attention to. Intentionally noticing the good gifts and recognizing the blessing that is this moment will guard our hearts from discontentment and despair. Recognize the moments with family, a good book, a cozy movie night, or a timely text from a friend. Do this by pausing in worship, making a gratitude list, or taking a picture, even if just for you to recognize and remember that this life God has given you is good, so good.
3. Hold on to hope, and let hope hold you. This is the hardest for me. Getting my hopes up often feels like a trap into disappointment, and for me, at least, it often disguises itself as contentment. It’s not. It’s just fear. We rejoice not only in what God has done but also in what He will do. This Christmas, we will reject despair and resist desperation. Despair is a synonym of hopelessness. It thrives on the lie that things will never improve and good is not coming. Desperation is convinced that striving and rushing are the only means to get what we desire. Both are liars. It’s okay to hold grief and recognize our unmet desires, yet in all these things, we hope. We hold onto hope, and we let hope hold us, too.
We can experience this Christmas with its joys and present grief, all while trusting that God is not unaware or distant. He is near and we will rejoice in Him. Feliz Navidad Amigas!
Con Amor,
Ivette
