How’s Your Hope?
As you may know, a few weeks ago Ariana and Lydia visited me in California. Anytime we talk over zoom, we check in on each other but there’s something about being in the same room, sharing space in a living room, over charcuterie and cafecito that made for a deeper vulnerability entre amigas. It always happens that way when we’re in person, juntas.
“Ivette, when you meet your future husband, it’s going to be great. We will have some serious questions for him, but it will be great!”Lydia started.
Ariana laughed and agreed. I wanted to laugh too but as soon as she said it, my heart flinched, and I think my face might have too.
Lydia must have noticed my reaction. She went on, “You have to believe it’s possible. You have to believe that God has good for you”.
I couldn’t respond. No words came to mind but the tears rolled down my face. I wasn’t sure where it came from, but it was as if my heart’s hope had been waiting to be asked, “how are you?”
Not great apparently, not great.
Here’s the thing, when we are in a season of waiting, we have to be intentional about checking in on our hope. Without it, we may not realize that in an attempt to protect our hearts, we’ve slowly rejected hope. This applies far beyond singleness. Whether it be a job, a child, a dream, a healing or restoration of a relationship, we are all waiting for something.
Proverbs 13:12 says, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Reading this verse always left me uneasy. How can hope, an essential element of our Christian walk that the Bible says will remain along with faith and love, make us sick?
But hope doesn’t make us sick. The delay, the deferment, the waiting is what the Bible says can make our hearts sick.
That sickness sounds like doubt and looks like unbelief. It can also look like desperation, grasping for a shortcut or counterfeit that might offer a way out of the waiting room we find ourselves in.
I’ve been single for almost 10 years. This waiting season isn’t a new one for me, but that doesn’t mean I’ve mastered it. I continually find myself needing to check in on the state of my hope and sometimes I need my community to do the checkup and remind me of what’s true.
That day, in that living room, that’s exactly what Ariana and Lydia did for me. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how weary my hope had become.
How do we treat a weary hope? By abiding in Presence of God, resting in the Word of God and in community, placing it back in the hands of the One who can hold it. When we immerse ourselves in the nature and sufficiency of Jesus, the true object of our hope, our hope is restored.
Here are a few questions I’ve been asking the Holy Spirit to speak truth into:
What am I believing about God in the waiting?
What am I believing about myself in the waiting?
What story am I telling myself about the future?
Answer honestly, then, let Him speak His truth over you.
With a perspective set on eternity, I remember that this delay, not matter how long, is not my identity. I choose to believe that God is good to me. I remember that yes, I am single but never alone, and my mañana, with or without a partner, is provided for in a good God’s hands. I am safe to get my hopes up on Him and so are you, friend.
Out of the pit of weariness and the shadows of unbelief, may Hope rise!
